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 8 Modern Dating Terms You May Need To Know.
By P.kea 09/04/2024

Welcome to the evolving world of online dating, where the language of love is as dynamic as the relationships themselves. We will examine the latest colloquial terms that have emerged to describe the countless experiences, challenges, and quirks of dating in the digital age. From ghosting to breadcrumbing, submarining to stashing, these terms offer a glimpse into the perplexing world of romance and the human psychology behind them.

The names that were created for these relationship terms definitely compliment the behavior. Here's a heads up so you will recognize what they are so that you don't waste time trying to figure out what's going on.

Let's learn about a few of these slang terms (some you may have already experienced) just to give you an understanding of their meaning and an insight into these perpetrators .

Ghosting: The Art of Disappearing Act in Dating.
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Image by pixabay

 

What is ghosting and why does ghosting haunt our dating landscape with such eerie persistence?

 

Ghosting is the sudden disappearance of a romantic interest, leaving the other party stranded in a digital purgatory of unanswered messages and questions. It's the ultimate vanishing act, leaving us pondering our worth and sanity.

Psychological profile: In the ghosting abyss, there lies a phantom perpetrator. One who has a fear of confrontation, rejection and commitment. low empathy & respect, unreciprocated romantic feelings, perhaps a loss of interest, lack of respect, and communication skills. It's a complex cocktail of emotions and insecurities, wrapped in a cloak of digital silence.

While there may be exceptions or specific circumstances where ghosting is understandable (e.g., safety concerns), ghosting is a relationship red flag. It is generally considered disrespectful, damaging to relationships and may be a sign that the relationship will lack the necessary foundation for healthy growth.

If find yourself on the receiving end of a ghosting apparition, channel your inner ghostbuster and respond with a witty retort or a well-timed goodbye meme.

Haunting: When the Ghosts of Past Love Lingers.
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Image by Freepik

There lurks a spirit that refuses to fade into the night, and it is called: Haunting.

What exactly is haunting, and why does it leave us feeling like we're trapped in our own personal horror movie?

Haunting embodies the lingering presence of a past relationship, like a ghost that refuses to vacate the premises. Haunting can follow a breakup or someone who has ghosted you. It's the ghost of exes’ past, spending time in our digital feeds with likes and comments, leaving us to wonder if they've forgotten the memo about moving on. It's the eerie feeling of being watched.

Psychological profile: In the shadows of the haunting ghostly apparition. One who has some regret, guilt, a reluctance to let go, jealousy, or perhaps just a case of fear of missing out. It's a tangled web of emotions, wrapped in a shroud of social media stalking.

 

If you feel the chill of a haunting presence, there's a way to exorcise the ghosts of past love, grab your trusty ghost-hunting kit – with a sense of self-awareness, self-care, and integrity, unfriend, unfollow, block, or delete them. Remember: you hold the power to banish these ghosts back to the graveyard of relationships past.

Zombeing: The Return of the Living Dead.
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Image by Freepik

In the vast landscape of dating, there’s a peculiar trend that has emerged: Zombeing. Yes, you heard it right, Zombeing.

Zombeing – is the act of being ghosted, only to be resurrected from the depths of silence as if nothing happened.

Image this: you're cruising along, vibing with someone, when suddenly, they vanish into thin air. Your messages remain unanswered, your calls go to voicemail – you're left in a state of limbo, wondering what went wrong. Cue the ghosting. But just when you've moved on, like a phoenix rising from the ashes, they reappear, weeks, months even years later. It's as if they've returned from the land of the undead, ready to resume where they left off without apology or explanation.

Psychological profile: One who has regret, or guilt, is experiencing loneliness or boredom, plain curiosity, a change in life circumstances, or simply a lack of communication skills. A zombie can also resurrect because they may need something from you, it could be to obtain a physical relationship. 

So, if you find yourself caught in the maze of Zombeing, channel your inner zombie slayer, and confront the behavior or face it head-on with an axe. (Figuratively speaking) Block, delete, and send them back to the digital graveyard they crawled out of permanently.

Benching: The Sport of Love's Waiting Room.
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Image by rorozoa @ Freepix

​What is benching, and why does it leave us feeling like we're stuck in relationship limbo?

Benching embodies the act of keeping someone on standby, like a substitute player waiting for their moment in the spotlight. It's the string of occasional texts, and dates, all while never fully committing or making intentions clear. It's the dating equivalent of being benched in a sports game – you're technically still in play, but you're not the star of the show.

Psychological profile: On the sidelines of benching, there is a coach behind the decision. One who has limited communication and commitment avoidance. Display hot and cold behavior,  a lack of investment in the relationship, They may be keeping their options open, or are committed another person. It's a game of emotional chess, played with the hearts of unsuspecting players.

If you find yourself warming the bench in the game of love, channel your inner MVP (Most Valuable Player), and remember that you deserve to be in a relationship where you're not just a substitute – you're the star player and you have the power to take yourself off the bench and onto the playing field.

Stashing or Pocketing: The Art of Hiding Your Love Away.
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Image by Wirestock @ Freepik

What is stashing, and why does it leave us feeling like we've been shoved into a relationship closet?

Stashing is keeping your romantic partner hidden away, like a prized possession kept under lock and key. It's the act of deliberately keeping them out of sight of friends, family, and social circles, leaving them to wonder if they're just a figment of their imagination.

Psychological profile: In the darkness of stashing, there is a mastermind behind the covert operation. He or she will limit public interaction, avoid introductions, exclusions from social events, downplay the relationship, have a lack of commitment, and possibly cheating, It’s a game of emotional espionage for those who are in a relationship with them.

If you find yourself stashed away in the murky depths of a hidden relationship, Open that closet door, step out, and let them know you deserve to be with someone who proudly displays their love for you and not someone who keeps you hidden away.

Breadcrumbing: The Crumbly Path of Romance.
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Image @ Freepik

​​Breadcrumbing is similar to leaving a trail of breadcrumbs to keep someone interested, without ever fully committing to a relationship. It's the occasional texts, and likes on social media, all while keeping one foot in and one foot out the door. 

 

Psychological profile: behind the master manipulative crumb-dropper. A fear or lack of commitment, a desire for attention, stringing you along for their own personal reasons, or perhaps just a hint of narcissism worthy of its own fairy tale. It's a game of emotional cat-and-mouse.

 

If you should find yourself trapped in the breadcrumb trail of romance, don't despair. Brush off the crumbs, and remember that you're worthy of a love that's full and satisfying. You deserve someone willing to give you the whole loaf, not just the crumbs. 

Submarining: Navigating the Depths of Love's Bermuda Triangle.
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In the vast ocean of dating, there lurks a similar event to Zombeing so baffling, that it's earned the aquatic name: Submarining. The difference between Zombeing & Submarining is 

Zombeing occurs usually with someone you've had an established relationship history with and Submarining is usually with someone you are currently dating and just getting to know.

Submarining, and why does it leave us feeling like we've been plunged into the depths of love's Bermuda Triangle?

Submarining is similar to resurfacing from the depths of relationship oblivion, only to disappear once again without a trace. It's the rollercoaster ride of being ghosted, only to be resurrected from the abyss with a cryptic text or a casual "like" on social media. It's the dating equivalent of being lost at sea – you're sailing along, minding your own business, when suddenly, you're hit with a wave of confusion.

Psychological profile: In the depths of the ocean, there lies an elusive submariner. Someone who has a fear of commitment, a love for mind games, or perhaps just a dash of emotional immaturity, low empathy, or lack of respect. It's a game of emotional hide-and-seek.

 

Remember, you are the captain of your ship, and you deserve someone willing to navigate the highs and lows of romance with you – not someone who's content to leave you lost at sea. Emerge from the deep waters with your self-respect, and chart a course towards calmer waters. But, not before you use that torpedo and sink that submariner for good by closing all lines of communications.

Pebbling: Tiny Acts of Love.
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Here is a positive and cute twist in the world of modern dating, where grand gestures often steal the spotlight, the subtle art of "pebbling" might seem underappreciated. However, when done right, pebbling can actually be a positive and meaningful way to nurture a relationship.

 

To understand why, let's take a lesson from the adorable world of penguins and explore the psychological benefits of these tiny tokens of affection.

 

What is Pebbling?

Pebbling in a relationship refers to giving small, consistent gestures of affection or attention—like leaving a sweet note or music, sending a thoughtful text, or offering a comforting touch. These gestures might not be grand or flashy, but they build a foundation of connection and care over time.

Did you know penguins are the ultimate pebblers. In some species, male penguins present pebbles to their potential mates as a sign of affection and a gesture of commitment. This simple act symbolizes their intention to build a nest (and a life) together. The pebble isn’t just a rock—it’s a promise of a shared future. Penguins understand that small, consistent actions can lead to something beautiful, much like how tiny pebbles form the foundation of a sturdy nest.

 

From a psychological perspective, pebbling can be seen as a reflection of a secure attachment style. People who engage in pebbling are often comfortable with intimacy and express their affection in small but meaningful ways. These gestures reinforce the relationship’s stability, showing love and that your partner is still thinking of you.​​ So, next time your partner leaves you a silly meme or surprises you with your favorite snack, remember—they’re just channeling their inner penguin.​

Remember this: While grand gestures have their place, pebbling reminds us that love is often found in the little things. So, embrace the pebbles in your relationship—they may be tiny, but they hold the promise of something lasting and beautiful. After all, if it’s good enough for penguins, it’s definitely worth a try!

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