top of page
portrait-fashionable-young-dark-skinned-woman-with-afro-hairstyle-having-serious-look.jpg

Image by wayhomestudio/Freepik

 6 Modern Dating Terms You May Need To Know.

Welcome to the evolving world of online dating, where the language of love is as dynamic as the relationships themselves. We will examine the latest colloquial terms that have emerged to describe the countless experiences, challenges, and quirks of dating in the digital age. From ghosting to breadcrumbing, submarining to stashing, these terms offer a glimpse into the perplexing world of romance and the human psychology behind them.

These names that were created for these behaviors do complement their actions and once you experience this unsavory practice you will now know what it is and won’t waste time trying to figure out what’s going on.

Let's learn about a few of these urban slang terms (some you have already experienced) just to give an understanding of their meaning and an insight into these unthoughtful perpetrators .

Ghosting: The Art of Disappearing Act in Dating.
christmas-ghost-e1638361023493 pixaby.webp
Image @ Pixabay

In the grand theater of romance, there exists a phenomenon so perplexing that it's earned the name: Ghosting.

 

What is ghosting and why does ghosting haunt our dating landscape with such eerie persistence?

 

Ghosting is the sudden disappearance of a romantic interest, leaving the other party stranded in a digital purgatory of unanswered messages and questions. It's the ultimate vanishing act, leaving us pondering our worth and sanity.

Psychological profile: In the ghosting abyss, there lies a phantom perpetrator. One who has a fear of confrontation, rejection, and commitment. low empathy, & respect, unreciprocated romantic feelings, a loss of interest, lack of respect and communication skills. It's a complex cocktail of emotions and insecurities, wrapped in a cloak of digital silence.

While there may be exceptions or specific circumstances where ghosting is understandable (e.g., safety concerns), ghosting is a relationship red flag. It is generally considered disrespectful and damaging to relationships and may be a sign that the relationship will lack the necessary foundation for healthy growth.

If find yourself on the receiving end of a ghosting apparition, channel your inner ghostbuster and respond with a witty retort or a well-timed goodbye meme.

Haunting: When the Ghosts of Past Love Lingers
freepik.jpg
Image @ Freepik

There lurks a spirit that refuses to fade into the night, and it is called: Haunting.

What exactly is haunting, and why does it leave us feeling like we're trapped in our own personal horror movie?

Haunting embodies the lingering presence of a past relationship, like a ghost that refuses to vacate the premises. Haunting can follow a breakup or someone who has ghosted you. It's the ghost of exes’ past, spending time in our digital feeds with likes and comments, leaving us to wonder if they've forgotten the memo about moving on. It's the eerie feeling of being watched.

Psychological profile: In the shadows of the haunting ghostly apparition. One who has some regret, guilt, a reluctance to let go, jealousy, or perhaps just a case of fear of missing out. It's a tangled web of emotions, wrapped in a shroud of social media stalking.

 

If you feel the chill of a haunting presence, there's a way to exorcise the ghosts of past love, grab your trusty ghost-hunting kit – with a sense of self-awareness, self-care, and integrity, unfriend, unfollow, block, or delete them. Remember: you hold the power to banish these ghosts back to the graveyard of relationships past.

Zombeing: The Return of the Living Dead
zombie-hand-holding-person-arm-halloween-graveyard.jpg
Image @ Freepik

In the vast landscape of dating, there’s a peculiar trend that has emerged: Zombeing. Yes, you heard it right, Zombeing.

Zombeing – is the act of being ghosted, only to be resurrected from the depths of silence as if nothing happened.

Image this: you're cruising along, vibing with someone, when suddenly, they vanish into thin air. Your messages remain unanswered, your calls go to voicemail – you're left in a state of limbo, wondering what went wrong. Cue the ghosting. But just when you've moved on, like a phoenix rising from the ashes, they reappear, weeks, months even years later. It's as if they've returned from the land of the undead, ready to resume where they left off without apology or explanation.

Psychological profile: One who has regret, guilt, is experiencing loneliness or boredom, plain curiosity, a change in life circumstances, or simply a lack of communication skills. A zombie can also resurrect because they may need something from you, it could be to obtain a physical relationship. 

So, if you find yourself caught in the maze of Zombeing, channel your inner zombie slayer, and confront the behavior or face it head-on with an axe. (Figuratively speaking) Block, delete, and send them back to the digital graveyard they crawled out of permanently.

Benching: The Sport of Love's Waiting Room
lone-bench-autumn-park-surrounded-by-fallen-leaves (1).jpg
Image by rorozoa @ Freepix

In the ever-evolving game of dating, there's a tactic that's similar to keeping someone on the bench – Benching

What is benching, and why does it leave us feeling like we're stuck in relationship limbo?

Benching embodies the act of keeping someone on standby, like a substitute player waiting for their moment in the spotlight. It's the string of occasional texts, and dates, all while never fully committing or making intentions clear. It's the dating equivalent of being benched in a sports game – you're technically still in play, but you're not the star of the show.

Psychological profile: On the sidelines of benching, there is a coach behind the decision. One who has limited communication, commitment avoidance. Display hot and cold behavior,  a lack of investment in the relationship, They may be keeping their options open, or are commitment to another person. It's a game of emotional chess, played with the hearts of unsuspecting players.

If you find yourself warming the bench in the game of love, channel your inner MVP (Most Valuable Player), and remember that you deserve to be in a relationship where you're not just a substitute – you're the star player and you have the power to take yourself off the bench and onto the playing field.

Stashing or Pocketing: The Art of Hiding Your Love Away
vintage-door-with-antique-door-handle freepix2.jpg
Image by Wirestock @ Freepik

In the maze of dating, there's a peculiar situation that's been causing quite a stir called - Stashing or Pocketing.

What is stashing, and why does it leave us feeling like we've been shoved into a relationship closet?

Stashing is keeping your romantic partner hidden away, like a prized possession kept under lock and key. It's the act of deliberately keeping them out of sight of friends, family, and social circles, leaving them to wonder if they're just a figment of their imagination.

Psychological profile: In the darkness of stashing, there is a mastermind behind the covert operation. He or she will limit public interaction, avoid introductions, exclusions from social events, downplay the relationship, have a lack of commitment, and possibly cheating, It’s a game of emotional espionage for those who are in a relationship with them.

If you find yourself stashed away in the murky depths of a hidden relationship, Open that closet door, step out, and let them know you deserve to be with someone who proudly displays their love for you and not someone who keeps you hidden away.

Breadcrumbing: The Crumbly Path of Romance
high-angle-slices-white-background.jpg
Image @ Freepik

In the network of modern dating, there's a frustrating behavior that's been leaving singles scratching their heads – breadcrumbing.

Breadcrumbing, and why does it feel like we're being led down a crumbly path of romantic confusion?

Breadcrumbing is similar to leaving a trail of breadcrumbs to keep someone interested, without ever fully committing to a relationship. It's the occasional texts, and likes on social media, all while keeping one foot in and one foot out the door. 

 

Psychological profile: behind the master manipulative crumb-dropper. A fear or lack of commitment, a desire for attention, stringing you along for their own personal reasons, or perhaps just a hint of narcissism worthy of its own fairy tale. It's a game of emotional cat-and-mouse.

 

If you should find yourself trapped in the breadcrumb trail of romance, don't despair. Brush off the crumbs, and remember that you're worthy of a love that's full and satisfying. You deserve someone willing to give you the whole loaf, not just the crumbs. 

Submarining: Navigating the Depths of Love's Bermuda Triangle
8-ssn-astute-submarine.jpg

In the vast ocean of dating, there lurks a similar event to Zombeing so baffling, that it's earned the aquatic name: Submarining. The difference between Zombeing & Submarining is 

Zombeing occurs usually with someone you've had an established relationship history with and Submarining is usually with someone you are currently dating and just getting to know.

Submarining, and why does it leave us feeling like we've been plunged into the depths of love's Bermuda Triangle?

Submarining is similar to resurfacing from the depths of relationship oblivion, only to disappear once again without a trace. It's the rollercoaster ride of being ghosted, only to be resurrected from the abyss with a cryptic text or a casual "like" on social media. It's the dating equivalent of being lost at sea – you're sailing along, minding your own business, when suddenly, you're hit with a wave of confusion.

Psychological profile: In the depths of the ocean, there lies an elusive submariner. Someone who has a fear of commitment, a love for mind games, or perhaps just a dash of emotional immaturity, low empathy, or lack of respect. It's a game of emotional hide-and-seek.

 

Remember, you are the captain of your ship, and you deserve someone willing to navigate the highs and lows of romance with you – not someone who's content to leave you lost at sea. Emerge from the deep waters with your self-respect, and chart a course towards calmer waters. But, not before you use that torpedo and sink that submariner for good by closing all lines of communications.

bottom of page